Tour of the Tours - Installment TwoBrooklyn Brewery - Brooklyn, NY

Let me preface this with a few tidbits of brewery touring advice...

The time and day during which you decide to tour is crucial to how much you will enjoy it. For some breweries, you don't have any other options apart from the three hours they're open for touring on Saturdays. Others, you can pick any day of the week within a 10 hour window. In my experience, the fewer people on the tour, the better. Consider the tour as having a classroom atmosphere, but with alcohol. The smaller the teacher to student ratio, the less you will have to struggle to hear the guide, the fewer people you will tipsily bump into, and the more you will learn before the alcohol permeating your blood cells renders you slightly brainless. But really, you're going for a tasting, not a binge (unless you're at Harpoon), so it shouldn't get that far. ;) If you're concerned about it being too crowded, call ahead and ask about the best, quietest time to tour. And don't worry, I've never seen any brewery run out of booze because the crowd was too big! If your schedule allows it, try to go on a weekday when they're bottling/canning. It's nice to walk around the machinery and look at all the doo-dads and idle whirly-woos, but to see them in action is a mesmerizing, nose-tantalizing experience!

So there's your cheat sheet, people! Use it, or earn a failing grade as I did when I visited Brooklyn Brewery. Don't misinterpret me, the brewery was great, but it was my lack of the knowledge outlined in the previous paragraph that made the experience a bit hectic.

Brooklyn Brewery - Brooklyn, NY

Pictured above is the master brewer on site at BB. She is the brains behind all brews that come out of this location, including their latest pale ale, Hair of the Cat...

Ok, ok, all joking aside, isn't she a cutie!? This little kitty perched herself atop the swag booth, high above the masses of intoxicated hipsters, like a lone survivor in the zombie apocalypse. There was no way she was coming down to accept any pets from the mob, but she gladly posed for our pictures from her secure location. Note: drunk people love cute animals.

What? Beer? This is about beer? Oh... yes! Let's take it from the top. It was a chilly Saturday in Brooklyn, NY. Arlo and I decided it was best to go on one of the earlier tours, so as to avoid the crowd. Apparently, we weren't the only ones with this thought in mind, and spent a half hour digging our chins deep in our coats while we stood in line outside.

It. Was. Mobbed.

For those of you that don't know, Brooklyn is quickly becoming a hipster capital. And hipsters absolutely love beer. Hipsters also love supporting the local economy. Aaaaand they love being thrifty. I think you're starting to understand where I'm going with this. Beer + Local + Free Tour = perfect Saturday afternoon for every hipster within a 200 mile radius. As if standing in line just to enter the building wasn't enough, we then had to stand in line to buy tokens, after which we had to stand in line to use the tokens to buy beer. It was a zoo. The volume of sound inside was high above the level of a noisy bar, and rivaled that of a rock concert. Communication was by hand signals and lip reading only. The place was big, but simply not big enough to hold the capacity of people that swelled and swilled inside. Every time I tried to move from one place to another, people eyed me as I passed, as if to say, "I swear to God, if you bump my elbow and my beer goes everywhere, you're going to die." It was not the friendliest environment.

Once precious beer was in hand, we decided to wait in line (this place loves lines) for the tour. Thirty minutes later, and we were off to check out some of the quieter rooms of the facility - something my ears were dearly looking forward to. After all 100 of us (oh my god) walked 50 paces into the main room of the brewery, I quickly realized this is where we would stay for the next 15-20 minutes while the tour guide talked... and that was it. Normally, the tour is actually a tour, but this wasn't possible with such a large crowd. I was fairly disappointed at first. But the absolute saving grace of all of this was the tour guide himself. He was hilarious! He gave the normal brewery speech about how beer is made with water, hops, yeast, malt, blahblahblah, all the while sneaking in subtle quips. My favorite part was his story about the brewery's history with the mafia. It was crazy enough to be true! It's not easy to manage such a large crowd, let alone an intoxicated one, but he did so with finesse, and only using his words! He was, by far, my favorite guide out of all the tours I'll cover in this blog.

Braaaaiinnnnnssssss.... err, Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrr! Sadly, there was no time or room for tasting samples. =( I got to try two different beers, but that was it. The reason I wanted to go to Brooklyn Brewery in the first place was to try their black chocolate stout from the tap. Really, if all else failed, but I still got my draft chocolate stout, then it was a great day. To my dismay, as we creeped forward in line to get our beer, I realized they did not have the chocolate stout listed at all. After asking, they said they could open a bottle of the choco-brew for me. Though I was really looking forward to a draft, I was delighted to have it at all! I didn't even take a sip until I was on the other, less headache inducing side of the building where I could stand elbow to elbow with the other quiet-seekers and enjoy it.

I had a draft of this decadence at Pearly Bakers in Easton, PA a few weeks prior the tour, and was amazed at the flavor complexities. The smell was definitely chocolaty with hints of vanilla. The front of the taste was not overly bitter or sweet. It was not chalky. It walked the fence between dessert and beer without falling into either one. It was something I imagined would be sampled in the Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory for adults. It was a bit creamy, but not too heavy - almost similar to a Guinness. The back half of the taste is my favorite part. It's literally like you just took a bite out of a chocolate bar. I did a double take, or a double sip, and my taste buds were telling the truth. This was truly divine. Unlike many other chocolate stouts, and despite the name "black chocolate stout", the chocolate quality was not too dark (I don't like really dark chocolate). After just one pint, it was my absolute favorite stout ever.

Unfortunately, after my second taste at the chocolate stout mecca, I began to question my previous evaluation of it's heavenly status. There was no balance, and it was a bit too chocolaty. I don't know. Things were just different between us, and I wondered if it would ever be the same again. I chalked the whole experience up to a bad bottle. These things do happen. It's always good to try a beer twice (or three times) to rule out the possibility of such an unfortunate occasion. *sigh*

I also tried BLAST!, their year-round, double, imperial IPA. They state on their site that this beer is "ludicrously hoppy", so you would think I would hate it. But it's really not that bad. The 9.0% ABV along with the tropical fruitiness on the front of the palate is a nice touch, but it's the back of the taste that rears it's ugly, hoppy head with every sip. I half love and half hate this beer, but it's good enough to enjoy a pint every now and then.

This particular visit to Brooklyn Brewery really left me wanting. I didn't have the experience or the balanced, chocolaty beer I so desired, and I didn't get to sample their other offerings. But I can't blame the brewery for it's popularity. Good beer is good beer! A less crowded experience would have proven much more satisfying. Again, the biggest plus for the whole event was the tour guide. He really saved the day. Oh, and the kitty. She was perfect!

If you ever decide to go here for a tour or even just a pint, I highly recommend calling ahead to avoid the lines and giant clusterfluffle that I endured. It's a nice place, the beer is good, and the staff is very knowledgeable/friendly/funny as hell. But no one likes to spend their free time waiting while there is so much beer to be had!

Tour wisely, my friends!


Next Up: Yuengling Brewery - Pottsville, PA

Tour of the Tours - Brewery Tours!

I love touring breweries. I think the whole process is fascinating. The stories behind the businesses and the buildings that hold them are super interesting, and the free beer at the end is not only the cherry on top, but also the three scoops of ice cream beneath it.

So come along with me as I tell tales of frothy glory and demystify the workings of six different breweries I've visited over the past few months.
They are...

• Yuengling - Pottsville, PA
• Harpoon - Boston, MA
• Sam Adams - Boston, MA
• River Horse - Lambertville, NJ
• Weyerbacher - Easton, PA
• Brooklyn - Brooklyn, NY

Their stories will be told over six different installments, and in no specific order.
I will judge them on three subjects:

• Brewery Atmosphere - general feel of the brewery, brewery location

• Tour Guide / Presentation - effectiveness/likeability/entertainment value of the tour guide, layout and execution of the tour

• Beer - self explanatory

Before I delve into the suds, let me first tell you about my personal taste. I'll start by saying I am not crazy about very hoppy beer. I don't like IPA's. I think that sort of hop flavor makes the brew unbalanced, as it dominates all other flavors in the beer. I enjoy variety as opposed to being faithful to one beer (I'm kind of lying... I like yuengling lager). Belgian beer is my favorite, particularly sour beer. The absolute best sour beer I've ever had was at Brugge Brasserie in Broad Ripple, IN. This place also happens to be my favorite restaurant ever, but that's another blog. I enjoy fruity beer, so long as it's refreshing and not overpowering (prefect example is McMenamin's raspberry ale, Ruby). I love trying unusual flavors like Rogue's Maple Bacon Donut or Wells Banana Bread. Oatmeal/milk/chocolate stouts are delicious. Lambic's are tasty, though not very beer-like.
I think you get the idea.

Tour of the Tours - Installment One

Harpoon Brewery - Boston, MA

Harpoon Brewery, my most recent visit, lies on the east side of Boston, right next to the ocean. The atmosphere of this place is bright and decorated. Aside from the wall of very old and rare beer cans, this single beer tasting/merch room has large windows on 3 of the 4 walls. It seems they went through an extensive list of possible business merchandise items ever, slapped their logo on every single one, and put it up for sale. This list ranges from hoodies to snowboards to growler koozies. The overall feel was exciting, though a bit commercialized. The room was small, but not cramped. I liked it.

Brewery tours were $5, and included a tasting glass to take home + beer samples (and of course, the tour!). Our tour was lead by two female tour guides, one of which was one of the dullest I've seen, and the other, one of the best. The better of the two was snarky and cracked some pretty funny jokes. She was a go-getter, and knew every answer to our questions. The other was a bit shy and lacked confidence. She knew the material, but simply wasn't a people-person. The two guides tag-teamed the tour by trading presentations back and forth while we walked through the warehouse, eliminating the time it normally took for a guide to push through the crowed and walk to the next destination on the tour. It was the smoothest presentation of all the breweries I've toured. And also, it was the only tour I've taken where they gave us beer samples throughout, and let us sample from the fermentation tank. The time spent actually touring before returning to the tasting room was about 15-20 short, but information packed minutes. Aside from the one lame guide, the tour was flawless and well thought out.

Ohhhh the beer. At the end of the tour, they brought us back to the tasting room and allowed us to have as many samples as we could wash down in the 15 minutes before the next tour. Needless to say, it ended the like this:

Anyway, they had about 12 beers on tap. Harpoon's pride and joy is their IPA, which you know I hate. But luckily, they offered many other, more tasteful choices to imbibe. I particularly enjoy their series of beer known as UFO (UnFiltered Offerings), in which "the unfiltered yeast remains in suspension, giving this style its signature cloudy color and a soft mouthfeel" (yeah, I stole that from their site). I thought the UFO Raspberry was pretty yummy. But their chocolate stout needed some work. It was definitely chocolate, but it was chalky, overly sweet, and just not something I would ever want. Don't worry chocolate stout lovers, you'll learn about a better offering down the road of this here tour of the tours. The best part, aside from the unlimited beer during a limited time, was the price of the beer. 6 packs were about $6-$7, pretty good right? Well 64 oz. growlers filled with beer were only $9.49, and that includes the price of the growler! ONLY NINE DOLLARS AND FORTY-NINE CENTS!! That means if I work at my job for an hour, I could get a full growler of beer and still have money left for some muchies! It's such a shame I don't live closer, or I would have taken them up on this steal. Really though, if we bought it, Arlo would have only wanted a sip, and I would have ended up drinking the remaining 62 ounces by myself to avoid wasting it. I didn't want to spend my last night in Boston with my face over a toilet. All in all, the variety that Harpoon has to offer is wide enough for any palate (they even have their own hard cider), and it's sold at an unbeatable price. It's really a winning situation. Some may complain that they charge $5 for their tour while other breweries offer tours for free, but it's totally worth your lunch money. If you insist on being so stingy, skip the tour and pick up a growler! This place is a must-visit if you're ever in Boston. It was an afternoon well spent!


Next Up: Brooklyn Brewery - Brooklyn, NY

Basement Music

As an adventurous young child, it was my mission to explore every inch of my house, from the kitchen cupboards to the bathroom closet to the dank basement. All of it had to be discovered.

"Don't go near the stairs." is what my parents used to tell me. Even as a little girl, I understood they told me this because they didn't want me to fall down them. But I would still sit on the top stair, peering down as best I could and listening to my mom doing the laundry. I don't know why it was fascinating at the time. I think the fact that it was dark and cool made it seem inviting. The fact that I was doing what I wasn't supposed to added to the allure. On summer days, the cool air would wisp past my face with hints of fresh linen and good laundry smells. It just felt like the place to be.

It reminds me of how my corgi loves to lay in the doorway between the kitchen and the front room. It's like she doesn't want to miss anything. She wants to make sure that if there's something going on, she's part of it. There's something about being in a central area between two or more commonplaces that makes you feel informed and involved. I think that's why people like living in cities... but my city was the place between the basement and the rest of the house.

Though the top of the basement stairs at my house was a favorite, the most intriguing place was my grandparent's basement, or at least the top of the stairs leading to it. It was absolutely off limits with or without adult supervision, and it was full of interesting, old stuff. My grandfather was very fond of electronics, and also a bit of a pack rat. He was always tinkering and giving my parents the best tips on how to extend battery life. He rigged the basement lights and radio to turn on together with the flip of a switch. I always knew when someone was down there because I could hear the music from almost anywhere in the house. But the music that came from the basement radio wasn't anything familiar from the 80s or 90s. It was so foreign, I simply dubbed it "basement music". It was much later that I discovered it was swing music from the days of my grandparent's youth, the 1940s.

Now, whenever I hear swing, I think of sitting at the top of the stairs, cool air and fresh scent wafting up, and the woosh-woosh-woosh sound of the washer dancing along with the basement music.

Nothing ever seemed more inviting.

Cat Food & Cookies

As children, we are taught the dos and don'ts of life as we begin to explore the new and interesting world set before us. As soon as we become mobile, the world is our playground. And, unfortunately, playgrounds come with rules.

Do brush your teeth.
Don't touch the hot stove.
Do use your please and thank yous. 
Don't pick your nose.
Do eat your vegetables.
Don't go near the stairs.

And yet, we've probably all done the opposite during our early childhood.
Why?
Insatiable curiosity.

And also because we were lazy, impolite, booger-munching monsters that DID NOT consider plants as food.
We were.

Now we're educated adults that understand veggies carry helpful vitamins and boogers are packed with germs. The tangible world has been explored, and we've learned meow mix actually doesn't taste that great.
Curiosity, in this sense, has been sated.

As a boring adult, I look back and wish to be submerged in a world where everything is new once more.
Don't we all?


I mean, burning my hand on the stove was incredibly painful. But before I seared my skin on those bright orange coils, the possibilities were endless. Perhaps, upon my touch, a pretty rainbow would appear with my little ponies dancing about. Or maybe it would grant me the ability to outsmart my older brother.

Not knowing was absolutely enthralling.


And now that I know, it's not nearly as fun.

It seems our whole lives, we thirst for knowledge.
We learn and experience and dabble.

Perhaps this is the reason for death.
When we know so much, the world becomes disinteresting.
So much knowledge leads to so much logic.
Outcomes become too predictable.
Life around us gets increasingly boring with age.

Wonder is lost.








And yet, in knowing this, or at least thinking I do, I say,

"To Hell With Logic!!!".

Was it logical to get a boyfriend at home right before I moved off to college?
Was it logical to move to Portland, OR for 9 months with pennies in my pocket?
Was it logical to plan a year + trip to Australia instead of finishing college?

I could go on, but the obvious answer is NO!


But these are the best decisions I've made in my life!
Why?
Because meow mix may be gross,
but those cookies in the cookie jar are DELICIOUS!
I wouldn't have known the outcome of any of these things
unless I gave into curiosity.
Logic tells me to stick with what I know, but curiosity tells me to touch the stove, taste the red goop they call ketchup, and move to the other side of the country.

There are so many lovely things in life that I'll never know unless I continue to explore with a child-like curiosity. Yes, I'm going to get burned. Yes, I'm going to be uncomfortably unemployed and homeless. But I'll also meet lifelong friends, sample thrilling flavors and textures, and discover buried treasure. I might even find rainbows with dancing ponies.


Or maybe even the ability to fly...